


Causality

by sharkgloves



Category: A-Team (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-14
Updated: 2011-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:54:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkgloves/pseuds/sharkgloves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during the movie. Murdock and BA's reunion after they break Murdock out of the hospital in Germany.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Causality

Murdock doesn’t remember the escape - not really. But he thinks it may have happened a little like this.

That morning he laughed at them as they gave him electroshock. Six months of failing to find the square root of his psyche and Old Sparky was how they’d decided to solve a problem like Murdock - just hook him up to a bug-zapper and let it burn off all the parts of him they had no use for. As if he’d ever make it that easy for them.

Time works funny in hospitals - years melt into minutes, seconds engorge and crack open and moments repeat themselves over and over until you lose count of the number of times you’ve played that same hand of cards, fetched up against those same white walls, watched that same long needle slide into your arm.

Hospitals are like your own personal DeLoreans. If you understand this then they can’t touch you.

That morning they gave him electroshock and he laughed. Rubber between his teeth and the nurse saying _clear_ but Murdock just fired up the Flux Capacitor and skipped ahead to where the current couldn’t reach him. Laughed and whooped and made them short out all the lights on the third floor trying to catch up with Jumping Murdock Flash.

Time travel has its price though – it’s not all fun and games and preventing robot apocalypses. Murdock skipped forwards in time that morning and hadn’t been able to realign himself before things started to happen and now the hospital is gone and time has rules again and he can’t seem to get himself in sync with the rest of the world.

Time returns to him in stutters. Now he’s in a straightjacket. Now he’s puking in the sink. Now he’s hearing the name Annabel Smith cut through the static. Now he’s playing possum for El Diablo.

More stutters. Like the needle skipping across a record – snatches of sound so fast and disjointed that you don’t know what you’re listening to.

Now the wall is caving in and he doesn’t know if this is really _now_ until he hears Face calling out to him.

Now he’s in that plane, that beautiful plane coming to life beneath his hands and BA behind him - furious and terrified and furious because he’s terrified. The world falls away and at last he’s up there where it’s clean and clear and he can fill his lungs for the first time in what feels like forever. The needle sticks a little longer up here, sound travels further, and Murdock wants to weep because he can finally hear the song that’s playing and it’s the sky singing him home.

It doesn’t last though. It never does. Time skips again and his hands are empty and he’s falling out of the sky. Lifeless metal around him. Wind whipping his face. And he’s spinning out and laughing and laughing and knowing that this is how it all ends but not caring because _they came back for him_.

And he must have not died somehow because now he’s standing in a barn and the guys are right there and they’re not dead either. And maybe this is real and maybe it isn’t so Murdock hugs them each in turn to make sure. Saves BA for last and doesn’t let go even when BA grunts and tries to pry him off.

BA is solid and warm and still smells the same, still feels the same, still feels like everything certain and good in Murdock’s life and Murdock pushes his face into BA’s neck and squeezes as tight as he can. If anyone can make time stand still long enough for Murdock to catch up, BA can.

And maybe Hannibal and Face have left or maybe he and BA are somewhere else but still here in each other’s space because now they’re alone and BA is holding onto Murdock just as tightly as Murdock is holding onto him and murmuring low in Murdock’s ear. He’s just saying “You crazy fool, you crazy fool” over and over again but Murdock has always spoken BA’s language so he says “I love you too, Bosco” and BA sighs warm against his neck.

They stand like that for so long that when BA tries to pry Murdock off again Murdock lets him. His whole body is humming and settled and seems set to stay in place as he matches his breathing to BA’s, feels his ribcage expand and contract in real-time. He thinks it might be safe.

BA doesn’t go far – keeps his hands on Murdock’s shoulders, holding him at arm’s length and studying Murdock with absolute concentration like he thinks that there’s going to be a test later. Murdock lets him look and takes the opportunity to look back. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of looking at BA and it’s been _six months_ and arm’s length still feels entirely too far away so Murdock curls his hands around BA’s wrists and holds on.

Skin on skin. BA smiles at that and Murdock can’t help but smile back even though it makes his chest feel sore and too tight. He’d forgotten how handsome BA was – forgotten how he looks when he smiles at Murdock like they’re the only two people in the world. All the ways Murdock’s brain misfires and spirals out and doesn’t fucking _work_ and he doesn’t really resent it until he’s faced with another of the things it’s taken from him without him even realising.

Arm’s length is definitely too far away and BA must agree because he lets Murdock pull him in again, lets Murdock pull him in and fit their mouths together in that perfect way. They’re near enough the same height, maybe an inch in it, and Murdock loves the way it makes BA seem like he’s always within reach. Like Murdock’s the only one with the cheat codes that let him reach out and lick his way into BA’s mouth and make him gasp and then-

And then times stutters again. Stutters like BA’s breath against his lips and suddenly BA isn’t there anymore.

Suddenly his hands are empty and he’s falling out of the sky.

Murdock panics and flails until he realises that BA’s in front of him, holding him at arm’s length and studying him like there’s going to be a test later and Murdock moans because this has already happened, they’ve already done this, and that must mean time’s travelling in reverse and Murdock should have known that you can only stretch time so far before it snaps back into shape and drags you along with it.

And that means he’s going back. Back to the hospital. Back to that cold hard cocoon that tears his wings from him and wants to make him something that crawls. Reverse metamorphosis. Eventually, he’ll curl up inside a white padded egg and stop existing altogether and all the doctors can pat themselves on the back and sleep soundly knowing that _the system works_.

Maybe this is what the electroshock was meant to do all along. This is what they were after and he played right into their hands. _Stupid_.

“What?” BA is saying. “Murdock, what?”

And Murdock can’t find the words. There’s nothing he can say that BA will even remember as time keeps skipping backwards, taking Murdock further and further away from where he wants to be.

Something. He needs something to stop this. Something new – something that didn’t happen today. Something to stop time from rewinding itself and erasing what he has here.

He surges forward. Kisses BA with everything he has – uses his lips and his teeth and his tongue to create this new moment between them and hold tight to it. Curls his fingertips against BA’s skin and begs him to hold tight too.

Murdock almost sobs with relief when he feels BA responding. Of course BA gets it. BA might not be as good at languages as Murdock, but he’s always been able to understand the important things.

There’s a cot against the far wall. BA’s eyes are soft and dark and absolutely steady as he goes down onto it with Murdock on top of him. The cot creaks under their weight but BA’s body is coming to life beneath Murdock’s hands and he’ll follow the course Murdock sets. He’ll trust Murdock to bring them home.

And Murdock knows how to do this. Knows how to make skin prickle and breath shorten, knows how to drag a thumb along BA’s length and increase heart rate, redirect blood flow. It’s cause and effect – it’s action and reaction. This is something that hasn’t happened today - this is something that can only move in one direction. This is something they can’t take from him.

Follow it along. Skin and heat and friction. Steady now – don’t let go.

He slides two fingers into BA’s mouth, feels BA suck them in deep and trace the tip of his tongue around the whorls of Murdock’s fingerprints. BA keeps his eyes on Murdock, doesn’t let Murdock go anywhere, and there isn’t enough room in Murdock’s chest for everything that is unfolding like wings inside him.

Murdock’s fingers aren’t slick enough but – oh, perfect – BA pulls a packet of lube out from his discarded pants and maybe BA has been doing some time travelling of his own. Maybe he’s already jumped forward to this moment so he knew that they’d be needing it.

It doesn’t take long to open BA up. Six months since they’ve done this and maybe there was a time back in the early days when BA had to be coaxed to let Murdock in but he’s there now. BA let him in years ago and there’s no resistance left in him anymore.

Murdock doesn’t rush though, not even when BA starts to pant and beg. He’s creating a moment – he’s fixing a moment in time for them both to hold onto. That’s not something you can do lightly.

Follow it along. Don’t let go.

Chase the heat, chase the tremor along BA’s skin. The beads of sweat at BA’s hairline are a gift to be caught on his tongue before he can go back to working his fingers deep inside BA’s body. Murdock’s a pilot so he knows better than most people how important it is to do everything precisely right and in precisely the right order. Do one thing wrong or out of order and it’s explosions and burning and falling out of the sky and he’s already done that once today and he’s not doing it again.

Finally, he lets BA roll over onto his belly. Engines are primed, conditions are optimal and he’s ready to embark.

Acres of smooth warm skin spread out beneath him and BA lets out a low groan when Murdock breaches him – so low that normally Murdock wouldn’t be able to hear it, but sound travels further up here and he is acutely aware of the heat and the slide and BA’s tightness as he sinks in slowly.

He holds himself still for a moment and breathes deep. Counts backwards in his head. Touches his lips to BA’s shoulder blade.

And then BA reaches back and squeezes Murdock’s hip and Murdock has a Go. Long slow strokes that deepen when BA starts to move with him, get harder when BA makes that urgent sound, speed up when BA starts to curse and grind his forehead into the sheets.

And Murdock’s right there with him. That morning they gave him electroshock and he laughed and jumped ahead of the current and thought himself so clever and now he’s trying to stay in one place and he can feel that electricity licking at his heels, the back of his neck, the base of his spine. It must have been chasing him all this time and now it’s finally caught up.

Beneath him, BA convulses and groans and Murdock can only clench his eyes shut and think _clear_ in a German accent as the electricity catches hold of him by the hair and shakes him apart. His fillings crackle and he’s spinning out and he thinks he might even be laughing again – that or some other high-pitched noises that hurt coming up and hurt in the air.

This isn’t how it ends.

Murdock doesn’t remember how it ends – his jump didn’t take him that far. But if anyone up there still listens to lapsed Lutheran mental patients then maybe it’ll end a little something like this: Murdock curled into BA on a bed where they have loved each other. Old Church song in a quiet voice that doesn’t see much use and a large warm hand stroking down the length of Murdock’s spine, smoothing the last of the tremors from him, promising to always come back.


End file.
